July 28, Mark's Thoughts

Although I have entered a few details most of the postings have come from Laura's perspective. I felt it was time to give you my thoughts. This trip could best be described as the best of times and the worst of times. From 2-1/2 years ago I have dreamed of a little girl thought would run up and jump into dad's arms with a big hug and an I love you. As you have heard from previous blogs that has not been the case. I have been relegated to paperwork guy, bottle maker, pack mule(but not for Abby), luggage packer, plate filler, picture taker, and sleep in the other bed person. While these are all vital jobs this wasn't exactly the jobs I thought I was signing up for. I am certainly glad she has bonded with one of us and no doubt Laura has gotten the tougher end of the deal but there have been days I have wallowed in a little self pity when I have seen all the other dads holding their daughters with no issues. I must also remember that what is seen is not always what is going on 24/7 as I know many of the parents have had some rougher nights than us. I have also learned I can live with a little less sleep than I thought (she is toughening me up.) I think I far too often want God to make it easy for me and I guess that is just our human nature. But I told myself going in that if this was God-ordained that Satan would do all he could to make things hard. I have gotten past the feeling sorry for myself and know just pray that she will allow me to hold her for the main purpose of taking some of the pressure off of Laura (especially her back.) Abby and I have made strides as Laura has posted in previous days. We had a great plane ride from Nanchang to Guangzhou. She played with me, continued to feed me, head-butted me a few times, and no longer wipes my kisses off. She likes my singing, unlike many I know, but she still wants me to keep my distance especially when she gets tired and cranky. She had her medical checks today and everything came back great. Her fever went down and there was no ear infection although the plane ride kind of solidified that one for us. The White Swan Hotel is as great as advertised. Laura is very anxious to go try the shopping although it is much to hot to take Abby out and she will not stay with me alone without much crying. We may try some tough love today when she takes her nap and let Laura sneek out on her own. We will just pray that my patience will outlast her crying but she is pretty hard-headed (kind of reminds me of some kids I know back home-fill in the blank.) I wouldn't trade this experience for anything despite some of the issues. We have met some wonderful people, seen a new culture, and had some once-in-a-lifetime moments. I know when Laura and I get back to normalcy we will be able to look back on this journey with much clearer minds and share laughs, tears, and overall some memories that will bond us for life. I still look so much forward to that day when Abby extends those arms for dad to take her and hug her. And that thought will keep me strong through the struggles knowing that things that come hard are that much better in the long run. I covet continued prayers for safety and strength. We miss all of you more than you will ever know and wish you could all experience this first-hand with us. And remember when I return home I may still be looking for that hug so don't leave me hanging.